“You can’t go back to change your past but you can certainly act today to craft your future”
Do you want to be happy?
Do you want to live a fuller life?
Do you want to be at your best every time?
You might be thinking, why am I asking such obvious questions? Who doesn’t want be happy, live a fuller life and be at the best?
Yes, I know that the answer to all these questions would be a BIG YES but still I am asking these questions because of 2 reasons:
It’s not often, that we engage in conscious self-talk, where we ask such questions to self. Since we don’t ask, most of us don’t get the answers. Subconsciously we all have these questions running in to our mind in a loop, but then these are among the hundreds or may be thousands of other similar questions running through our mind every single day. Therefore, it’s imperative to ask.
The second reason, why I asked these questions is pretty simple. As the title of this post may suggest, since I intend to share my views on the topic, hence I need to seek your permission before starting off. It’s a way to reconfirm that you as a reader are indeed interested in the subject and looking for some solutions, which I may have to offer.
Now that I have a yes from your end, which I consider as an implicit permission to go ahead, let’s move on and look at some of the most practical hacks or tips to live a fuller and happier life.
Since you are going to spend your precious time reading this post, I would therefore like you to maximize the value for your time invested. Before moving forward, I just have 2 requests:
Read it with an open mind
Once read, apply the learnings
Thanks for acknowledging my requests, let’s begin.
We are living in the information age, where the entire world is at our finger tips. We consistently seek out what is happening around us and across the globe. How much a plethora of news is actually relevant to us is another matter but the fact remains we want to be aware of anything and everything happening around us. In such a scenario, its really ironical that how little we know about our self. Most of the people I see, meet or know have lack of self-awareness, which is the root cause of discontent and dissatisfaction. There is no clarity as to,
What forms our core?
What drives us?
What motivates us?
What gets us going?
Why do we feel the way we do?
Lack of awareness leads to a situation where we keep in blaming others for our failures. We blame people, events, circumstances, for that matter anything and everything under the sun but self.
The external focus, doesn’t do any good to us but raises the frustration level. We have a limited control on the external environment so why waste our time and energy on something which is not going to give us the desired results. Why not focus on self, be more self-aware and see how can we acquire the missing life skills and enhance our coping abilities.
Cut the distractions, have more of me time and be more aware about your inner self. Once you do that you will get to know of your foundation and answers to the questions stated above.
Hack#2 Change your Self-Talk
Self-talk is the conversation we have with our inner-self. This leads to formation of our thoughts, which convert in to beliefs, get embedded to our brain and guide our actions. On most occasions we engage in to negative self-talk, telling ourselves:
Why we can’t do something
What is not good about a situation
We are not good enough
People can’t be trusted
What’s not good around us
Justifying our inaction
Spending time in the past
Worrying about future
Lack of money
And the list goes on…
Unconsciously and at times unknowingly, we feed our brain with all the negative thoughts. Every time we want to do something, come across a new opportunity or its time to take a decision our belief system stops us. A series of thoughts start popping up in our head ,why we should not do something .We get thoughts like this is not going to work, it’s not for me, this is not the right time to do it, I don’t have enough money, I don’t have the time, I can’t afford it, this is just another scam, people can’t be trusted, I am not good at making decisions, etc.
If you observe, all these thoughts direct as to why we can’t or why we shouldn’t take action.
No action, no change. Status quo persists and we continue to blame the destiny, circumstances, people for our failures.
Changing the self-talk leads to formation of positive belief system.
Why I can’t do is replaced by How can I do it?
This is not goanna work becomes I will make it work
I can’t afford it becomes how can I afford it?
Scarcity is replaced by abundance.
Once that happens, you tend to become unstoppable and raring to go.
Next time when you engage in to self-dialogue, just be mindful of what you are feeding your brain with. The quality of input will decide the quality of output.
Hack#3 Pursue Goals
I know it’s very cliched but that doesn’t reduce its relevance in the modern world. In 1950’s, Earl nightingale had famously mentioned in his now legendry audio tape, "The Strangest Secret”, that 95% of the people don’t achieve success in their life simply because they don’t have goals. He also said, “You become what you think about. If you think nothing, you become nothing”. This is a very direct and deep statement. It gives you the ultimate clarity that the choices and decisions you make today, decide your future tomorrow.
It’s recommended to have 3 types of goals:
Short term (Up to I year)
Medium term (1-3 years)
Long term (3-5 years)
Set your ultimate end goals, break them down in to sub goals with clear cut timelines and go about them one step at a time. I know it’s not easy but anything worth doing is not easy. It requires considerable effort, but in the end its worth it.
Once you have your goal plan or goal sheet in front of you, following the process becomes simpler. Read or write them daily, so that you get a sense of direction and don’t forget. Remember the old adage, “out of sight is out mind.”
So, hack#3 is to set goals and pursue them relentlessly.
Hack#4 Limit exposure to Toxicity
Ok, this seems to be slightly complicated term. Let me break it down for you. Toxicity comprises of toxic people, toxic environment, toxic information, toxic events etc. We are living in VUCA world (Volatile Uncertain Complex Ambiguous), with too much of noise, distraction and hustle around us. All these distractions are carriers of toxic elements in to our lives. Toxic elements at best don’t add any value to our lives but at worst they have far reaching adverse impact.
Imagine being surrounded by the toxic people, who just keep on talking what’s not good in the world? What’s not good at their homes? What went wrong? Why you should not do something?
Or, the toxic media consistently bombarding with all that negative news?
Or, the toxic rallies where politicians are talking about their opponents?
How all that negativity is going to impact your brain?
What is going to be the effect on your belief system?
How is it going to define your outlook to the world?
Environment and the company we keep has a profound impact in shaping our lives, so its critical that we choose it carefully.
I am aware that complete cut down is not possible and therefore I am recommending limiting the exposure. Cut down all the non-necessary connect and interaction with toxic people who are not contributing to your growth or adding value. Restrict the engagement in toxic events and reduce the intake of toxic information.
These simple steps can be very effective in shaping your personality.
Hack#5 Have Fun
Yes, to have a fulfilled and happy life its important to have fun so that life doesn’t become a boring saga. During our growing up years, we all used to have a combination of work and play. We used to look forward to the play time as a reward for the hard work being put in studies. These moments helped in rejuvenation and provided the motivation to keep going.
As we grow up, the grind of life begins, focused mostly on work and careers. Fun part is either largely ignored or limited to addictions like consuming alcohol, binge watch television, social media etc. While I am not trying to be judgmental but these are not best of the options one must look forward to. Another issue is that often these moments are ad hoc and not planned so there is no consistency.
A better way would be to identify the activities we really enjoy and then include them in our daily, weekly schedule. Fun elements may include simple activities like listening to favorite music, cooking, going for a drive, having a tea with your spouse, playing with kids, gazing at stars, sitting in the balcony, reading your favorite book, chatting to your friend or simply doing nothing. it may include anything and everything. Having a schedule helps in keeping the balance and offers an incentive to excel at work.
One of the reasons, why people give up on their pursuit of goals is lack of motivation and monotonous routines. Fun moments provide the welcome relief, recharge and fuel motivation to keep going on without giving up. Have fun for fulfilled life.
Trust, the hacks shared above make sense to you. If yes, then why not apply and see the results on your own.
It is said, that knowledge without application is wasted, so I would sincerely urge you to apply these tips in your life and test the efficacy on your own.
If you want to delve deeper and get in to more details, would be happy to connect and offer a blueprint to have a fuller & happier life.
Thank you for being patient and reading till the end. With so many distractions around, it is really commendable that you are reading these last few lines.
Do share your feedback/comments.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lalit Hundalani is a certified professional in Leadership & Strategic management from IIM Lucknow. He has a rich experience of working in the corporate sector for more than 18 years, primarily in the banking and financial services domain.
During the course of his journey, he got the opportunity to mentor and nurture awesome individuals and see them transform in to successful professionals. The sheer joy of witnessing people getting their transformation was simply unparalleled to him. It also made him realize the importance of giving back to the society. With this objective in mind, he decided to reach out to the people beyond his workplace and share his experience, knowledge and skills.
In order to share his learning with others, he went through the formal training process and got himself certified. Currently a practicing, Certified Self-Transformation Coach on a mission to help 10,000 individuals transform their lives.
He published his first book in Jan 2021 and became the author of the Amazon Best-Seller book, “Hacking the Productivity”. The book is a power packed action plan to boost human productivity and achieve more in life. Needless to say, it has some really cools hacks, which actually work.
He is also an avid blogger, You tuber and a fitness enthusiast. He loves to connect with people, via various social media platforms and take the association forward.
Learn more about the Transformation Coach and Author on www.indianintellectual.com
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are of the guest blogger and the views/opinions expressed belong solely to the original blogger and this does not necessarily represent the views and opinions expressed in this website. The images in the article are provided by the blogger.