"When a child can't calm down they need connection and comfort, not criticism and control."
- Jane Evans
Children are the biggest assets in our life. They are a bundle of joy. I'm myself a happy father of a 4 year old daughter and I can tell you that being in her company is certainly a blissful experience. Children play a major role in our feelings of happiness, joy, love, compassion and positivity. They are the ones who would continue with the great legacy that we had established in our life. They look upon us as their role models. Every action that we take in life is looked upon by our children with respect, interest and curiosity. It is our responsibility to give our best to our children. As a loving and a responsible parent these are the top 5 important tips for achieving calm Parenting:
Relax and Motivate yourself and your child
No child is born perfect. Children are bound to make mistakes in life. As a responsible parent, we need to understand the thought process of our child. A successful parent is one who understands what the child would be thinking on specific situations. The logic behind each and every action of the child should be understandable to the parent. To be in such a situation the parent need to become close to their child and know them better. Another important point here is that the parent needs to think from the perspective of the child. Surely a child cannot be asked to behave like an adult in every situation. Every situation teaches a new lesson to the child. Sometimes it can take multiple times for a child to understand the lesson of a particular situation. Still the parent is expected to be patient, relaxed and maintain calmness in such a situation. The parent needs to motivate his child by focusing on the child's strengths rather than pointing at the child's weakness all the time. Every child is gifted with many great abilities. It is the responsibility of the parent to identify that greatness by engaging with the child more and giving certain activities to the child to uncover their talent. Words of motivation and encouragement are something what the child need to remain happy and give their best every time in their life. You don't need to worry if you see that you child is not performing well in their studies. It is all about being patient and giving them their time. As they continue to learn and grow in their daily life, there would surely be a time when their hidden talent gets noticed in the outside world.
2. Maintain a peaceful and energetic environment in the house
Home is a place of happiness and relaxation. It is the place where love, care and warmth fill the air. It is the place where we relax and rewire our thoughts in a joyful manner. For a child, home is a place of freedom, love and nurture. To ensure that a child grows happily and positively make sure that the following points are given importance:
Ensure feelings of love, happiness, bliss, joy, trust, peace etc. at home. These are higher vibratory feelings which ensures that there is proper energy flow in the house.
Eliminate feelings of fear, worry, anxiety, anger, frustration, impatience, guilt, shame, limitations etc. that obstructs the flow of positive energy in the house.
Always try to promote the child to think positively. Negative words like 'can't', 'difficult', 'scared' etc. should not be entertained. There should always be some solutions on our side to encounter those negative words or thoughts.
Try to maintain a calm environment in the house as much as possible. It is in this calm environment that the child would able to develop her power of thoughts and creativity.
Ensure that the house is always clean and tidy. Explain the importance of cleanliness to your child. Bring your child to discipline in a cool manner when it comes to arranging the books, toys and other stationary items in the house.
Be calm when your child is being restless and adamant on getting some things that she desires. Divert her mind to something else that she likes. Give her some tasks or physical activities so that her energy gets spent on useful tasks.
Maintain some plants at home so as to bring a positive effect on the environment of the house.
As a parent, practice Yoga, Pranayama and Meditation to ensure that there is proper energy flow within your body. Meditation also helps you to reduce the flow of unwanted thoughts in your mind and to become calm, relaxed and stress free.
3. Teach them about God and moral values in a simple manner
During my childhood I used to be very interested with some of the comics of Amar Chitra Katha. I also was very much fascinated with some of the popular serials like Ramanand Sagar's Ramayana and BR Chopra's Mahabharata. These resources gave me a solid foundation with regards to the knowledge about these epics. Sometimes comics, pictures, cartoons, serials and movies provide a better imagination and visualization to a child than just the narration of the epics. Knowledge about God can be given in a simple manner that is interesting and understandable to the child. You can also remind your child that God loves her very much and is aware of all her actions. By doing so you can bring devotion and discipline to the child's life. It is also necessary to teach them about certain moral values like honesty, truthfulness, obedience, helping others, cheerfulness, sharing things with others, caring for others etc.
4. Set up up flexible rules and conditions
It is good to setup certain rules or conditions to the child so that the child's life become more organized. These rules can be something like the time to go to bed every day, the time to wake up, the approximate amount of time to watch TV, the number of hours to be spent on studies and games etc. On some days, if some important program comes on the TV then these rules can be slightly relaxed to accommodate the interests of the child. By being flexible with your rules, children will stay cheerful and expressive. The child can also be rewarded with some toys, chocolates, gifts etc. whenever the child does something special in their studies, events or some competitions.
5. Ensure that your child understands the value of love
Always speak to your child and give your child the feeling that you love her a lot. Once the child understands the meaning of love and attachment, then your child will always become close to you. Whatever little arguments you face with your child, are all temporary. By listening patiently to your child's thoughts and feelings, your child will feel comfortable and get the feeling that they are getting enough love and respect from their parents. Whenever the child has to open up on some concerns, they would always approach you because they know that you had always shown lot of patience to listen to their concerns and viewpoints carefully. The child would also become comfortable approaching you for tips and suggestions on their daily life. Keep family pictures and pictures of your child in every room of the house to increase the love and bond within the family.
Deepak Devaraj is from Kochi, Kerala. His family members consist of himself, his wife, his four- year- old daughter and his parents.
He has around 15+ years of experience as a Software Professional and he is currently working with Wipro, Kochi.
He’s also a practitioner of Yoga, Pranayama, Meditation, Reiki, Law of Attraction etc.
Apart from his profession, he is also an author of Self Development and Self-Healing Books.
His recent book titled Unlimited Energy became a Bestseller on Amazon (India).
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are of the guest blogger and the views/opinions expressed belong solely to the original blogger and this does not necessarily represent the views and opinions expressed in this website.